My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
