The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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