i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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