we have pet lesbian snakes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
