So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
