Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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