He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
