I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
