you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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