he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
we should paint friendship bongs
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize