Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
