I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
