is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think my fart just growled at me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You ruined the universe
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
