does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
