I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
