he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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