Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
