But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
