is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
