with your own penis?
Screwed.edu
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
