We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
