look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
