areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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