i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
