Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
porn star boner night. come get it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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