I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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