That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Soap is not a condiment
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
