i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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