fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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