So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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