Sponge bath it is.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize