I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just high enough for therapy.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
