hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
