I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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