I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
