He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
