The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
