Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
