I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
