My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
