mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
