now i know why i became what i already was.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
