I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
