suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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