my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
