There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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