Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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