I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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