Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
