I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
