Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
