Just cropdusted the office
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it was like eating out sand paper
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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