i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
