We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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