I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He better not be in your backpack
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
