I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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