there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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