remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
