Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He shit in the fireplace
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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